Our "special" life

Friday, April 24, 2009

Update on Life now...

Hi guys! I have taken a small break from the blog world just to deal with things. Things are going good right now. I am starting to focus on losing all the weight I have gained on the fertility drugs. I got a good 20 lbs just from the drugs... not to mention I could stand to loose about 20 more! So I am going back to the gym and tanning bed (I know its bad for you- but I need it!). Its nice to return back to everyday life in a way. Things are busy which is good for now! Hubby's new job is going great and the Lord is really blessing him in that way!

So I have decided to set some goals for this summer. Here they are! Ill update and hopefully blog about them as we enjoy the summer!
1. Loose weight! (at least 20 lbs by end of July- already down 3!!)
2. Organize my closets and storage!
3. Start summer workouts for school volleyball team and take them to camp!
4. Work as much as possible at Dick and Janes!! (one of my favorite places with great people!)
5. Be a better wife
6. spend more time with my sister now that she is living back in town
7. Go see my lil bro play baseball ( I didnt get to go to a single game this school season- first time ever :( )
8. RELAX!

Ill probably add to the last as time passes!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter!

How amazing that we serve a God that is Alive! Even with all that we have been going through I still stand amazed at what an incredible God we serve. He gave His life that I might live.... how can you not serve Him! Happy Easter!

Things are good here....I have kept myself busy this time after getting the news. It has been nice. I have spells where it just gets to me for a few minutes and I cry for a few and then move on. I think those times will continue... but at least I know I am not alone. I am heading to the beach with one of my girlfriends tonight and staying til Wednesday...It will be nice just to get away! You know I have amazing people in my life and I am sooo thankful to all of you that have covered me and hubby in prayers during this situation. If you read my blog and you are blessed to have children.... please for me, hug them, love them and hold them tight. I think sometime we forget just how lucky we are to have them around. I know next time I see my step daughter I might just squeeze her a little tighter. :) (*for those who are curious we have talked about adoption but right now I do not feel emotionally ready to embark on that journey. Possibly in the future. All in Gods timing)

Happy Easter!! Im off to enjoy Spring Break!!!

Thursday, April 9, 2009

results...

BFN....I am speechless at the moment. This was our last try and last attempt. I never thought it would not be part of Gods plan for me to not have my own children...but I guess thats our God, its His plan not mine. I just wish I could understand why.....

Waiting.....

Today was the day that I went to get my blood taken and get the results of our FET. I have to admit that hubby and I took a test yesterday since he wouldnt be with me today for the results. I was absolutely devastated to see that it was negative. I immediately gave up hope...but I have amazing friends and family. Who reminded me we serve an amazing God and a God of miracles....So I am waiting. I am waiting in reality but with Hope. Im not sure what the results will be, but I will post them sometime today or tomorrow. Even if it is negative I have learned so much in this journey and God has taught me so many things about myself and my relationship with Him. I know I will be upset and devastated, but I also know that He does have a plan. If its positive then it proves just what an amazing God we serve.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Going Crazy

So... I havent written since the procedure. It has been a week. I have one more week to wait. I am going CRAZY! Anyone reading this that has been through IVF what did you do during the two week wait to make it go by without thinking about it every second. I know I am suppose to think positive but I do not feel any different that normal this go round. So I do not have to many positive thoughts. Maybe it will be better that way since last time I was almost sure it would work. I just pray everyday that Gods will be done in our lives... I want a baby so bad. More than that I want Brad and I to have our own family. I pray that is part of Gods plan also. I guess in another week we will find out. Until then.... Im trying my hardest not to take a home pregnancy test everyday!!